Please leave me alone. Just for a little while. I'm talking like maybe a month or two. I just want to be able to enjoy what I have right now, and not be so concerned on how it will affect you. You are needy. You need a degree, you need a husband and kids, mortgage and bills. I hate it. I hate needy things... You demand this and that. You suck. We are not friends right now.
I just want to be able to savor the moments I have right now, instead of stressing. Just for a little while. I want to savor time with my best friend, and those cute moments I have with my significant other. I want to be able to laugh at the little stuff and enjoy doing foolish things. I want to be able to cry about a sad movie and go bowling. I really want to go bowling. With bowling, you can do silly granny shots, and slide and fall on your butt, and no one will judge you. Well okay, the really serious bowlers might judge you, but guess what? I'm not in their league so I don't care. I want to go sledding, and still have kiddish moments. I don't want to worry about bills yet, or husbands, or life long dilemmas. I have the rest of my life to worry about that nonsense.
Instead though, I am stuck. I am worried about how one event could impact everything. Passing one class could make me or break me. Instead of being happy, and carefree, I am stuck worrying about work and school. Balancing my best friend and my boyfriend. I am stuck worrying about paying tuition, and potentially messing up and killing someone. I am worried about moving out, and being responsible. Poop. I'd rather be sledding down a hill, making snow angels, and doing anything, absolutely anything, other than worrying about you. So on that lovely note, I would like to tell you, that I look forward to you, but I don't want you to come too quick.
-xoxo, Jessi
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