You do so well at explaining my life! I just wanted one little note (I think I am gonna try to do one like this once a week) that just explains how I am feeling through a series of lyric quotes. :)
About My Best Friend: "May your tears come from laughing. You find friends worth having, with every year passing , they mean more than gold. May you win but stay humble. Smile more than grumble. And know when you stumble, you're never alone."
About My Current Boyfriend: "I like you the way you are, when we are driving in your car and we are talking to me one on one, But you've become somebody else; around everyone else. You're watchin' your back like you cant relax. Tryin' to be cool... You look like a fool to me... Tell me, why do you have to go and make things so complicated?"
About the Ex: "When I think about you, I think about 17. I think about my old Jeep. I think about the stars in the sky. Funny how a melody, sounds like a memory. Like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night."
About Work: " Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just want to lay in my bed. Don't feel like picking up my phone so leave a message at the tone, cause today I don't feel like doing anything, nothing at all"
About School: (see above!) lol.
-xoxo, Jessi.
3.29.2012
Dear Maturity,
They say that you get better as people grow older. That is a lie. I guess, I have always been very mature for my age, but it just seems like I am meeting more and more people that are so content living in adolescents. I mean, being young and having fun is one thing. Being immature and dramatic is another. I just feel like I am growing out of some of the people that I used to know. You know? The ways a little kid grows out of their little kid toys and starts playing with the big kid toys. Or they grow out of clothes... I just happen to be growing out of people.
I don't really know a good way to tell them either... I mean I guess I don't and I just let it happen? I mean, that would be hard. I guess, but then again little kids don't tell their stuffed animals when they grow out of the. I just want someone to be on my level. I am far too old to deal with bullshit. And I guess, technically I am not that old. I am only 19, but I feel 36. I know that is kind of wrong but I just have been through enough in my life that I don't really have time for drama. I mean, I love everyone in my life, but I don't want to play games. No more. I am going to tell you straight up what I think, feel, etc. and I am to the point that I expect the same back, without attitude, or getting defensive.
I just want to go out and have a good time regardless of who I am with and not have to feel like I have to justify myself. I don't. I am an adult. A young one, but if I am old enough to fight for my country, I am old enough to not have to explain myself to you. I just wish people were on my level, otherwise it looks like I am gonna have to start hanging out with an older crowd. Which is hard because I'm not 21 yet. I am just... I don't know really. I feel so drained... Just so tired of games. I can be honest, why can't you? I can say what I think. Why can't you? I can be committed, and work hard for what I want..... so tell me, why can't you?
-xoxo, Jessi.
I don't really know a good way to tell them either... I mean I guess I don't and I just let it happen? I mean, that would be hard. I guess, but then again little kids don't tell their stuffed animals when they grow out of the. I just want someone to be on my level. I am far too old to deal with bullshit. And I guess, technically I am not that old. I am only 19, but I feel 36. I know that is kind of wrong but I just have been through enough in my life that I don't really have time for drama. I mean, I love everyone in my life, but I don't want to play games. No more. I am going to tell you straight up what I think, feel, etc. and I am to the point that I expect the same back, without attitude, or getting defensive.
I just want to go out and have a good time regardless of who I am with and not have to feel like I have to justify myself. I don't. I am an adult. A young one, but if I am old enough to fight for my country, I am old enough to not have to explain myself to you. I just wish people were on my level, otherwise it looks like I am gonna have to start hanging out with an older crowd. Which is hard because I'm not 21 yet. I am just... I don't know really. I feel so drained... Just so tired of games. I can be honest, why can't you? I can say what I think. Why can't you? I can be committed, and work hard for what I want..... so tell me, why can't you?
-xoxo, Jessi.
3.05.2012
Dear Sunshine,
I am so happy to see you today! I am very over the winter and ready for summer to come so I can see you a lot more. We always have had quite the hot affair!! haha. I miss flip flops and sunbathing. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful and brightened my mood today!
-xoxo Jessi.
-xoxo Jessi.
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