Dear Maturity,

        They say that you get better as people grow older. That is a lie. I guess, I have always been very mature for my age, but it just seems like I am meeting more and more people that are so content living in adolescents. I mean, being young and having fun is one thing. Being immature and dramatic is another. I just feel like I am growing out of some of the people that I used to know. You know? The ways a little kid grows out of their little kid toys and starts playing with the big kid toys. Or they grow out of clothes... I just happen to be growing out of people.
      I don't really know a good way to tell them either... I mean I guess I don't and I just let it happen? I mean, that would be hard. I guess, but then again little kids don't tell their stuffed animals when they grow out of the. I just want someone to be on my level. I am far too old to deal with bullshit. And I guess, technically I am not that old. I am only 19, but I feel 36. I know that is kind of wrong but I just have been through enough in my life that I don't really have time for drama. I mean, I love everyone in my life, but I don't want to play games. No more. I am going to tell you straight up what I think, feel, etc. and I am to the point that I expect the same back, without attitude, or getting defensive.
     I just want to go out and have a good time regardless of who I am with and not have to feel like I have to justify myself. I don't. I am an adult. A young one, but if I am old enough to fight for my country, I am old enough to not have to explain myself to you. I just wish people were on my level, otherwise it looks like I am gonna have to start hanging out with an older crowd. Which is hard because I'm not 21 yet. I am just... I don't know really. I feel so drained... Just so tired of games. I can be honest, why can't you? I can say what I think. Why can't you? I can be committed, and work hard for what I want..... so tell me, why can't you?
        -xoxo, Jessi.