Gosh, this used to be a simple thing. Remember when you just decided someone was your best friend and poof! it was done? Now, it isn't like that at all. I had a person, who I thought was my best friend. We were inseparable and now we don't speak. Now, normally I don't point fingers and get all grudgy, but this time, and in this forum, I am allowed. It was her fault. HER FAULT. I refuse to take the blame on why our friendship ended.
Now this being said, I refuse to miss her. She screwed me over so bad, so many times and not once in our entire friendship did she ever give me a sincere apology. Instead, she would pull one of those crappy "I'm sorry but lately you have....enter the rest of the bullshit excuses here...." I hated it. I hated it so much. I tried to make her get along with everyone and she was just freaking impossible. I sacrificed so much for that girl and in return she couldn't even swallow her pride for three seconds and give me an apology. Three seconds could have saved our friendship. Instead she chose some cute little firefighter, that honestly sounds like a douche, and I give it three months over me. Which is fine. That is her choice. I am going to sound super bitter in this post, I know I am, but that is how I am feeling about it right now. I have no one to listen to me talk about exactly how shitty the whole situation is, so I am sorry to anyone who reads this that you have to be my unsuspecting victims.
She used to tell me how I was feeling, and acted like she knew me so much better than I knew myself. Ummm... Wrong! I used to hate how she would try to like psychoanalyze me, and TOTALLY get it wrong. Then she wouldn't even give me three seconds to straighten her out and tell her what was really wrong. Then she would always say, "You're not happy." Who fucking says? I could be happy and just not wanting to have some drama filled estrogen based girl session. My bad. But if I was quiet for three seconds she would tell me I wasn't happy... I was always fine, until she interrupted me so much I couldn't tell her I was happy because I was so annoyed by her wrong psychoanalysis of me. I just... Grrr.
Then she would call me princess in an argument. That was BULLSHIT! She wanted to be pampered like the fucking queen and I would oblige, yet I am the princess? So stupid. I drove her ass around everywhere in high school paid for all her fucking food. Every time we went out, I drove. If I didn't drive, I ended up driving her car home because, "she hates driving at night." Yet, keep in mind ladies and gentleman, I am the princess here. When we did go out, 85% of the time I paid, I paid for everything in our friendship minus a few meals. And when she paid, she didn't pay for me as well, she would just pay her half. But I had to flip the bill for both of us. The rare occasion she did pay for both of us, she made it clear that it was some fucking favor. Yet, every time we fought, I was the bad guy ruining her life... yeah.
I was always afraid to tell her how it was, because she would get so hurt and pissed off about the dumbest little shit. But, here is how it really was. I took all of my time trying to make you happy and when I got tired of the fact that you couldn't for the life of you get along with anyone in my life without creating drama or talking shit, I was fed up with it, and I really don't care about your feelings anymore because you never gave a fuck about mine. So, I'm not going to lie and say I wish you the best, because I tried to provide that for you as a friend, but I hope someone has the balls to tell you that you are manipulative, rude, hard to get along with and frankly a fucking diva. I hope reality kicks your ass because it may make you a less spoiled, and better person in the long run. Thank you for teaching me how to stand up for myself.
-xoxo, Jessi.
P.S. Saying this made me feel so much better.
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