Dear Love,

        I'm not sure I even know what you are. In romantic movies the knight in shining armor rescues his damsel in distress. That doesn't happen in real life. In fact, a lot of the times, there is no shining armor, and no distress at all. It can just be one boy, and one girl being absolutely ridiculous. They may fight, a lot. And she may say bad things. He may hate her attitude, and she may hate his composure. He may make her absolutely crazy, and she may make him do dumb things. 

      I hate his attitude, and I hate how calm he is... All the time. I hate when he makes me mad just because he thinks it is cute. I hate how he freaks out, and how he doesn't sleep at 2 am. I hate how insecure I feel because I haven't felt so strongly. I hate when he doesn't take I'm fine as a good answer. I hate that he won't leave well enough alone. I hate that when we fight I always end up crying. I hate that when I am trying to hide that I'm upset he asks why I am crying. I hate when I am mad at him and the only person I want to tell is the person I am mad at. I hate that I absolutely hate how I don't hate anything at all.

      I wouldn't change anything. Nothing at all. However, I would change the way I behave, the things I say and the way I yell. I would change the fact I cry in front of him and let him in so close. I would change the fact I show him how much I care, and the way he makes my heart race. I would change my composure in a second if I could. I would change all of this, because I don't want to get hurt. I don't know if he is my knight in shining armor, or just a chapter in my life. I don't know if he will stay by me forever or just one more night. I don't know if he will put up with me longer then he has to. And it is the unknowns that make me hate, everything I do.

                                 -xoxo, Jessi