Sex, you have legitimately made my life a pain in the ass. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love you, but I hate you. I am beginning to think that is what I am valued for. No, not what I am valued for, but if I didn't participate in sex, I don't think he would still be with me.. that sucks. I mean, not that I would ever just hold out but Jesus It is all he wants to fucking talk about. That or fucking cuddling, I am so gosh darn sick of those two damn subjects. Oh wait, we will also talk about anything he is passionate about for hours on end. But if I want to try to share something I am passionate about with him, out goes the attention span until he gets the pleasure of hearing his own voice again.
He does treat me well, I just wish it didn't feel like he was treating me that well just to screw me, you know? Isn't it possible to treat someone good, just to treat them good? I don't know. I am just so irritated with it all. Maybe I am being over-dramatic but, I don't care. I just... I just want to watch a stupid rom com where the guy falls in love with the dying girl that can't have sex and doesn't make her feel guilty about it or seek it from other people. Maybe that doesn't exist in real life, but I am going to act like it does and watch it on a movie and go to sleep feeling disgusting. I bid you goodnight. Maybe a more positive message to come later, but right now I am a grump, and this is what I get to vent to.
-xoxo, Jessi
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