You listened to the whole story. The whole story of the other girl. You listened. And you did good. You kept your cool. I'm proud of you. I wish it was me... But I don't really have any respect right now for him, or her. Or you. I just. You need to walk away from men. Fuck them. Fuck trying to try. I hate that. Even still, after our relationship was over, you are thinking that you are overweight. Jesus, hello diet and anorexia. Welcome, to self-control land. Fuck. I am so like upset. I can't handle it. I can't fucking handle being the second choice. Ugh. I fucking hate it. Pardon my french on this. Jesus, I just... I guess I had this glimmer of hope that maybe I was prettier... Nope. Oh well I guess.
I guess that happens right. At least he upgraded... I guess... I just am so tired... I just want to be fucking important. Prove it to me? Telling me about her... ugh nauseating... Once again, couldn't you have lied to me... maybe a little? I don't tell you the shit about whoever I am currently fucking. That would destroy you... but instead... I get to hear all of the lovely details... Ugh. So my phone is going in a lake for a while, my bottle of jack will be handy and I will forget. That is all I have left to do. Play it down like you don't care about her. Then lie to me... attractive. Gosh, I don't think my chest has ever hurt so bad. I need to puke... Or drink.. Or something. Fuck bitches that are 125... Jesus... I would kill to be that. Well, tomorrow morning, I will get up go puke and go run... Great. It is funny that even after everything is over with him, he is still the only human being that can make me feel completely unattractive. Today, not only did the Ex do some ego damage of his own but the guy that I thought would make me feel better about the whole break up, let me know I had thunder thighs today... Harmless joke to him, since I do have... "thicker" thighs... Harmless joke to him... Crushing comment to me... Well, guess you have the gym as a date tomorrow... Here is to STILL not being good enough...
-xoxo, Jessi.
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